How Should You Talk to a Pirate?

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How Should You Talk to a Pirate?

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Maybe you’re sailing life’s seas with a pirate-obsessed kid — or maybe you’re obsessed, like Captain Ahab. Technically, Captain Ahab wasn’t a pirate and rarely told pirate jokes. But he did have a boat, and he was nuts. Anyway, if you’re endlessly chasing dad jokes over the next horizon, then you know the value of a funny and corny pirate joke for kids

These are dad-joke gold. How the pirate — that humorless and sea-hardened marauder of the open seas — has become such a font of corny jokes in the modern age is a mystery (but it probably has a little something to do with the history of cartoons, kids’ TV shows, and Star Wars). Unlike the real pirates of old, you won’t have to walk the plank or dive into the gaping jaws of a leviathan to get the joke — we’ve done all that for you, risking life and limb on the high seas of the corny, the catchy, and the ridiculous to bring you the great white whale of dad humor: the pirate joke. This weathered old treasure map of pirate jokes will help you get to the hook faster and get your kids either laughing or arrrrghh-ing in exasperation. 

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