If you want to fix or save a marriage, having children is not the way to go. Parenthood can reveal a significant number of hidden issues, even in happy relationships. Naturally, for a marriage in trouble, that’ll be even worse, and it can feel like it’s all coming out of nowhere! Here are some reasons having children to save a marriage doesn’t work:
· Differences In Parenting Style
If you’re already dealing with a lot of marital conflicts, having kids will worsen that. You now have to find ways to agree on various aspects of raising and caring for a child. Each parent’s protectiveness over the kids will make these brutal battles to fight without pre-existing healthy communication.
Children don’t always show affection to both parents in the same way. At a very young age, they may strongly prefer receiving support from one parent over the other. Spouses may feel jealous of this and lash out if they already have prior issues in the relationship. This breeds resentment and unhealthy competition, which creates a toxic family environment.
· You Don’t Have Time
Healing a marriage requires time and effort from all parties. This won’t be possible when you have young children! Kids are a real handful and need so much supervision and care. Your lives will get increasingly hectic, and you’ll barely have time for yourself, let alone each other. This causes problems and issues to sit and stew as you avoid them, which will blow up later.
· You’re More Emotionally Fraught
Having children is stressful. If you’re already stressed out due to marital issues, kids will only make that worse. You’ll be snappier, more irritable, and less willing to talk things over. You’ll be running on empty a lot, leaving you with no bandwidth left to manage pre-existing conflicts and problems.
Final Thoughts On Some False Beliefs About Marriage To Never Believe
For something so romanticized, marriage sure can be tricky! False beliefs about marriage only make matters worse. They can lead to disappointment, toxicity, and an unhealthy relationship. By being able to separate myth from fact, you and your partner will be able to better manage future marital issues with mindfulness and care.